Shit man. Media literally makes people into mindless morons. The must have aired a particularly inflammatory episode recently.
While walking to the store some guy with sunglasses was rudely staring me down as I walked along the sidewalk. I just jovially said, “Waiting for the bus?!” He node in confirmation and I just say, “Alriiiiggghhhht!”.
While going through checkout the Mexican looking cashier was annoying the fuck out of me by creepily staring at me. I says, “Long day today?”, and he’s all like, “Fine thank you”, but the creep kept staring at me till I left the store.
I can only imagine what slanderous bullshit that inflamed cunt Brownfield is broadcasting about me. I swear, I’d love to pound her kike face into jelly some day.
All I wanted was some oatmeal for dinner but that fat fucking bitch wouldn’t let me make any, so I just went out for a damned pizza. Of course gordo wanted me do do a bunch of grocery shopping, but fuck that, she doesn’t do anything for me but make me miserable so she can do her own shopping.Coming home from the pizza place I pass some Mexican girl who smiled broadly at me. I thought nothing of it, then I passed some young white woman who fixed a big goofy grin on me. I just figured she was a fan of my show and was reveling in my misery and just kept on walking.
Also, I’ve decided to get on the deep web as that must be where the slanderous website is.
Karen is either a basket case or she’s working for the jew, Dana Brownfield. Possibly both.
My kitchen is literally full of putrid garbage which she refuses to clean, I have bags of her trash in all my closets, she never lets me do laundry, she won’t let me have any female acquaintances, she doesn’t want me stocking up on vital supplies for emergencies, and, well, the list just goes on and on. She encourages me to put on weight, doesn’t want me working or taking classes. It’s obvious that she is isolating me and making both me and my place appear very undesirable.
I bet if things do go south she will just leave and go home, leaving me out here with no friends or money to face my end.
Also I thought it was suspicious that she doesn’t want me moving the Dana garbage out to the patio or cover my ceiling. I strongly suspect she’s the one who moved the tape from my camera lens on my computer. I also suspects she uploaded spyware on the other computer. I’ve noticed other little things as well.
I will try and buy webwatcher and upload it to her computer as soon as I can. I think I may be surprised at what it reveals.
It’s just the way I am I suppose. I got myself totally strung out on Kratom. I ordered a new batch early Friday morning so I’d get it Saturday because I was very near running out. Of course Saturday was the 4th of July, so no mail came till Monday. I just had enough to barely squeak by Saturday and then I was completely out till Monday afternoon. By Monday I was all achy and depressed. Nowhere near as bad as opiate withdrawals, thank God, but I wasn’t enjoying life very much all the same. So I don’t know, we are due for some very big upheavals very soon so I may not be able to purchase the stuff as easily as I have been. Day to day life may be much more difficult than it is now and I may have to deal with all that unpleasant stuff in a state of withdrawal.
Of course, I’m a big wimp about this kind of thing. Coming down off the pods wan’t all that bad either, but you wouldn’t know that by listening to me. One of the worst things about it is that sleeping becomes nearly impossible.
I think the withdrawal from the pods was a week and a half to two weeks. I don’t know how long the kratom withdrawals could take. I just read anywhere from 3-4 days to a week.
I could just try to stock up like crazy, but we have so damned many expenses right now.
I want to be nice to Karen but she makes it so hard. She not only refuses to clean my apartment she won’t even bathe. I looked at her yesterday when we were outside in the sunlight and it really freaked me out. That dandruff on her face! Damn, how used to not being cleaned must one’s body be before it can developed yellowed clumps of dry skin growing on her face?
She really makes all kinds of bullshit problems for ,me. I’m pretty darn sure she works for that cunt Dana. Nearly everybody I knew back in Oafland was in her employ so it looks like nothing’s different now.
Yesterday when I was out with Karen a nice looking girl smiled at me, then she looked kind of disgusted when she saw Karen. Good luck trying to see anyone with Karen around here, she’s so jealous and paranoid.
Her mother really wants her to visit soon so maybe that will be an opportunity for me. Better yet she wants to live in San Francisco. That would be ideal. We could stay on good terms and I could still see her often so if things really do get very bad after September hopefully we could move off to New Mexico, which is where I wanted to go all along.
I’m not cut out for duplicity, but this unwanted media persecution has made a certain amount of it necessary. Unfortunately this is a very bad time to be taking the habit up in earnest considering the bottom could fall out from everyone’s world in a short while.
I forget where I read it or heard about it, but there was some guy who claimed to have a collection of suicide notes. I don’t know how one goes about accumulating a selection of suicide notes, but he claimed to have done just that. Maybe he worked for his local police department or knew someone who did. I don’t recall. I do remember he claimed to have one that said, simply, “I’m bored”. He made it a point to specifically mention that one. I guess he thought it was frightfully interesting or ironic or something.
I’m not sure I’d be interested in even looking at a collection like that. It strikes me as kind of morbid and depressing. The topic also stirs unhappy memories from my own past.
I have, however, collected a lot of other things that I found interesting over the years. Unfortunately I have lost everything I have owned more than once due to these idiotic media assholes interfering with my life, so really the only thing worthy of being called a “collection” that I own now would be my library of books which I have been buying over the past three years. That’s OK since money isn’t the only thing you can’t take with you when you die so nothing can ever be yours forever no matter how much to cherish it.
No, I’d never collect suicide notes, but I did have a collection of diaries. Working at book stores one gets in all kinds of paper collectibles. Books, magazines, posters, photo-albums, just to name a few. Occasionally we’d even find sketchbooks and diaries. None of the sketchbooks I’d come across were worth keeping, unless they had plenty of blank pages, but I was saving whatever diaries or journals I’d find. Since I was near Hollywood they were often from rich, often jewish kids. Not very interesting for the most part, just lists of expensive activities they whiled away the time with. I never stumbled across any engrossing narratives, insightful observations or even original humor in any of them. They were all dreadfully dull actually. Even though I had diaries from the 19th century on up to (what was then) the present time (1980’s) they were all pretty much the same. Although it was rather redundant reading it did show that people never change much from generation to generation.
Anyway, it was really not quite the interesting hobby one would assume it would be. Many people have atrocious, illegible hand-writing for one thing, and, despite what you may think, most people are smart enough not to trust their deepest, darkest secrets to the written page. Also most people don’t keep a diary for a very long period of time. Usually people will loose interest in the project after a month or two. I used to diligently keep journals myself. I’d go on for a year or two at a time, but I always lost interest and stopped whenever things were going well for me. I guess one only feels the need to sort through one’s thoughts when times are troubled. When we are enjoying life maybe we just don’t feel the need to take time away from it just to scribble in a little book.
I was just on Ebay and they have a healthy selection of old diaries. Anyway I need to stay away from Ebay. Too much temptation for me there because of my fascination with antiques and old things. Everything was so much better in the “old days”. They had a thing known as “craftsmanship” so a lot of art and craft went into even the most mundane of everyday items. Also things were made better and of superior materials so they generally lasted longer. Now everything is made of either plastic or particleboard.
Anyway, as bad as things are now I can at least be grateful I wasn’t born any later. The world is not only getting worse all the time but things keep deteriorating at an ever increasing rate of speed. Also, has any body else noticed how culture has been basically stagnant for the past 20 years? Seems everything has been sitting still as it gradually sinks into the mud.
Karen keeps buying more and more furniture to postpone the delivery of what we have already bought because she is too damned lazy to do any cleaning around here. She keeps buying me more and more clothes because she can’t be bothered doing any laundry. We have to keep eating out all the time because she won’t clean the kitchen and because of thus we can’t make our own food. This is not only unhealthy but it is costing us a small fortune just to keep ourselves fed every day.
Obviously a woman who is too lazy to clean or even look after her own appearance is pretty worthless so I’m sure most of you seriously wonder why I haven’t given her fat ass the boot yet.
I have survived a lot of setbacks that were intentionally put upon me by those who wanted me out of the way. How I managed to see myself through those dark times is because I worry a lot, and because I worry I do what little I can to avoid or soften the blows of misfortune that are being sent my way.
Many people are convinced that the much awaited economic collapse will likely occur this coming September. Some jew tradition where they leave their crops fallow every seven years. There was a recession in 2008, and I guess there was one in 2001 and 1995, &tc…
I know her parents have assets so we could still survive if our checks get cut off. Of course money may become worthless but I believe they also own some farmland.
But of course I also realize I often worry about stuff that never happens, but again between ’95 and ’98 every asshole in the San Francisco Bay area was out to kill me and I pulled through it fine, in fact, right now I’m doing better than ever in a lot of ways. So naturally I should always trust my intuition as it has served me remarkably well so far.
Also it just occurred to me now how angry Dana got when I told her I thought I had tracked down Kathy. Also how flabbergasted that Brennon bitch was when I emailed her that time. I get the impression Dana must have assured all those slanderers I’d be out of the way and not capable of verbally condemning them for their betrayal. Also there’s how many of them flipped out and disappeared when I found out about the show. I need to harass those losers more. O need to do a Kathy and a Brian video asap!